Son: Mum, I got detention.
Me: Oh my god, what did you do?
Son: I hit a kid.
Me: Well you know that will cost you a month without internet.
Son: But that kid said Harry Potter sucks.
Me: COME IN HERE MY BOY, YOU MADE ME SO PROUD. I KNOW I’VE RAISED YOU WELL HEDWIG CROOKSHANKS.
Me: HE SAID “HARRY POTTER SUCKS” AND YOU HIT HIM?! Come here, my little Gryffindor, I’ll teach you how to get back at someone the Slytherin way, which also includes not. getting. caught.